mercury rev - yerself is steam

when i was 20, i went on a tinder date with a guy from the valley. i was at college in santa barbara at the time, so we decided to meet up halfway-ish in ventura, a coastal city north of LA. off the freeway, there was a giant blue-and-yellow record store called salzer’s. i’d see it every time i drove from college back to my mom’s house, and vice versa. i always wanted to check it out but never felt like stopping on my long drives. i knew this tinder date had good music taste because his first message to me was something about crying to the song “alien observer” by grouper, and we had the same favorite alex g song— an obscure unofficial release that no one knew at the time. i also discovered that we were both attending the upcoming duster show in LA.

so of course, as we were going to be in the area, i suggested going to salzer’s to browse their music and dvd collection. i don't really remember much at all about the date or my interactions with him. i recall being overwhelmed and excited at the enormity of the store and all their pop culture knick knacks (i’m a big fangirl). i saw something that reminded me of my best friend, so i sent her a photo, and she messaged me a reply that made me laugh harder than he had done all night. before we left the shop, i suggested that we go to the used section and each pick out one CD for the other person to buy and go home with. i honestly don’t even remember which CD i chose for this boy to take home, but I’ll never forget the one he chose for me.

“yerself is steam” — the 1991 debut album by NY band mercury rev. grungey, experimental psychedelic rock from students at the university of buffalo. in my opinion, these early years were the golden era for mercury rev— vocalist david baker left after their second album, “boces,” and the sound just wasn’t the same.

at the time, i was still driving my first car— a hand-me-down silver 2005 toyota camry that smelled like cigarettes (not mine!). the next morning after the date, when i got into my car, i put the disc into the CD player and waited for it to start. track 1. “chasing a bee.” well. i couldn’t even start driving. i just sat there in my parking space staring into the void. the sound had transported me into another realm. i sat for the full 7 minutes of the song, then i clicked “back.” and i listened to it again. and again. and again. i couldn’t even get past the first track to listen to the rest of the album. i couldn’t stop listening to that first song. and once i listened to it, i couldn’t listen to anything else.

i don’t think i made it through the full album until a year later.

the guy didn’t make it past 2 dates, but the CD will forever live on.

when i think of this story, i think about all the music that i have ‘collected’ from the various people who are in my life (or who popped into it for a split second). i can’t remember what i ate for breakfast last week, but my music memory is unparalleled. i can tell you where i first heard any given song, or who showed it to me, or what was happening in my life when i was listening to it. i think it’s interesting that i went on an underwhelming date with a random guy from the internet and got a piece of media out of it that will stay with me forever. couldn’t tell you much about the guy at all. and he has no clue that picking a random CD on a first date 8 years ago would effect the other person’s life so much. it makes me wonder what small interactions i have with other people will end up staying with them. maybe i drove you somewhere and i played a song in my car and it’s still your favorite. i’d love to know.